My first time experience as a camp instructor for sec3

My confidence broken. Lack of command and control.

This sounded negative, but I guess it summed up how I was feeling and performed as a 'camp intructor' for a 3D2N sec3 'leadership' camp @ Sentosa ( 25th-27th May)

Originally, I thought this was a leadership camp, the students were leaders in their own way, and my role there is more of a facilitator, helping them in their learning process. I was half right - half wrong.

Reality : My group required more command and control; discipline need to be enforced; they lack initiative in doing things.

What I expected of them : Some ppl in the group to take the initiative and lead the group into doing things ( For example : deciding on a group name; group cheer ; group indentity, using a piece of cloth )

What they expected of me : To decide for them everything ; I was their 'leader' ; I give them instructions and directions ; I initiate the cheer ; I get them excited and fired up. I decide on what they are going to perfom for the talent nite.


It was during the camp that I realised that there is a mismatch of expectations. This wasnt the camp that I envisioned to be, thus I was not mentally prepared for the camp. My role there is more like 'an orientation grp leader' , the kind that will psych the grp members up, get them excited, conduct games and activites for them, debrief them ( if they are interested to listen in the first place) , make sure they cross the road safely, collect food for them....., do a head count whenever we gather for the next activities....

In some way, I kinda of disappointed my group, because I was not a 'strong and decisive' leader in their eyes, someone who can exert a certain amt of control over them and that they are willing to obey. ( This wasnt what I wanted anyway; I never wanted to treat them like my army men)

Nevertheless, this camp taught me several lessons; it exposed my weakness, areas that I need to improve if I were to become a better teacher/instructor

1. Building rapport

This is one area that I need to improve on.... Although I managed to build some rapport with some of my group members, but it wasnt enough.

I ought to initiate more 'small talk' with them, ask them more questions.....

Without this rapport established , its very difficult to get them to do things for me when I ask them to...

2. Command and Control

This is the situation : My group obeyed my instructions in the 'Do nots' ; but they will be lacklustre in the 'Dos'

For example :

a. Whenever I try to gather the group, there will always be some 'lost sheep' wandering around
b. When I ask them to sit/stand in 2 'rows', there will always be some standing in 3s or alone
c. When conducting activites for them, there will always be someone interested in playing, watching by the side.

My mistake was that I did not address the issue ; make a stand when the situation arose. I chose to ignore it. I did not enforce the basic discipline.

This revealed my non-confrontational nature. I mustt change else I will not be able to establish command and control in classroom/PE settings....


"How the group behaves/respond is a reflection of your ability to command and control ; lead them" --- This is very true, hence I need to improve on this aspect

3. Show more energy, life !

If my group is feeling very low morale; low energy, then it is a reflection of me having low morale and energy.......quite true to a certain extent....

There were times that I did feel a bit disappointed with myself and with the group...why I cannot motivate..psych the group up as compare to the other camp instructors....But I am learning from them.....

4. Appoint leaders ; Delegating responsibilites...

This is something that I did not really do. I only ask the group to decide on certain things , but did not appoint leaders to decide for the group.

I should have appointed leaders / ICs to

- report strength to me
- make certain decisions for the group ( etc decide on group name...talent-nite item)
- lead cheers
- go and find the 'lost sheeps' back


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This camp really taught me a lot of things, areas to improve on.....

I guess my methods/style needs further finetuned and must be modified to suit the maturity level of the group.

Shall think/find out more of more games and activites for younger children/teenagers.....

My struggles

My struggles....

1. To let go of the past and move on

Sometimes, I am still reminded of my past, the mistakes that I have made. I have confessed to GOD and am forgiven, but I know I have to live with the consequences of my actions.

2. To love people

Although this is amongst Jesus's greatest commandment, I am still struggling to do it.I know 'LOVE'is an action verb...it is not a mere head knowledge.

3. Outreaching to people

Maybe this is because I am still inward looking... Am I willing to avail myself to be used by God during this matrix season to connect and outreach to people?


I pray that I will put my trust in God, and to have the faith that he will provide for my needs, so that I can be committed to outreaching during this matrix season ; that I will not worry about finding a suitable income.

Wilderness Adventure Race

Adventure race at Pulau Ubin attracts 48 teams
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Channel NewsAsia, 15 May 05
full report: http://www.wildsingapore.com/news/20050506/050515-3.htm

The Wilderness Adventure Race 2005 has attracted 48 teams, more than
organisers had planned for.

The action started at the Pasir Ris Community Club with an early flag-
off. After a short run to the beach, participants had to get into
kayaks and paddle 3 kilometres to Pulau Ubin, where most of the hard
work began.

On the island, the obstacles included running through forests, and
the more familiar rock climbing, even ascending a 15-metre tower with
ropes in a move called "jummaring". But the highlight of the race was
plunging into the water from the peak of a six-storey high quarry.
While the view was breathtaking, the participants had no time to
enjoy it, as they had to kayak back to the mainland, before cycling
to the finish line back at the Pasir Ris CC.

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Yup, that was my first adventure race, partnering Hongwei( my classmate)

A bit disappointed because we did not have the change to 'abseil and plunge into the quarry. We were waiting 2 hrs for our turn....but due to time constraints, the last 12 teams were not able to go through the highlight of the race, and had to proceed to the next checkpoint.

Shall give a more detailed account in the near future....

I risk...

I risk asking and getting rejected but I will know the person’s response if I do

I risk failure but I can only succeed if I do it

I risk failure when trying out new things but I will learn something if I do

I risk being laughed at because of my incompetence when I try something, but I will only know how competent I am when I do it.

I risk being condemned when I confess my wrongdoings, but I will be forgiven if I do

I fear letting go but I will move on if I do

“Do or do not, There is not try”- Yoda

I used to fear many things in my life, I still do now. But each time I think back and reflect, I am thankful that at least I made the attempt to do it. Sometimes I did succeed in overcoming my fear; sometimes I still fear and did not attempt and will regret as a result.

Fears I have overcome:

Not knowing my purpose of life.

I used to wonder/grasp for what is my true meaning in life. I wanted a clear direction, purpose, and a reason to live for.

There will always be uncertainties in my life, but I am confident to say I know my purpose and direction in life now

Sharing my fears and weakness to my friends/anyone

I used to be afraid of being looked down upon by my friends, but now as I reflect back, I realized this is such a self-limiting thought

If they don’t know, how then can they help me grow?

Admitting that I am wrong and apologizing

I used to fear saying sorry to other people even if I know that I am in the wrong.

I used to think that doing so is a sign of weakness.

Then I learnt it is an act of humility.

Asking for help in different areas of my life

My personal pride was the major hindrance to that.

I used to think I can handle everything and would fear of letting people know of my incompetence, but then I realize that this is hindering my personal growth. I need to admit that I need help from others and to ask people for help

Once again, this is an act of humility

I used to fear that people will criticize my views of things

Then I realized that I cannot grow if I do not know the loophole/blind spot of my own argument

Expressing my feelings/love to people

I used to fear facing rejection from people

Then I realized I will never know how they will response until I first love them.

These fears will always be present in my life and I admit it will always be a struggle to overcome them, even though I have overcome them before, because every experience/situation is unique/dynamic.

Fears I have yet to overcome :

Expressing love to my own family member

Sharing the gospel to complete strangers

Are my goals.dreams aligned to God's plan for me?

There are many things that I want to do/achieve in my life. But the question always remain : Is it aligned to Gods plan for me?

Dreams.Things I want to do:

1. Take part in a international 3 month international Raleigh Expedition in my lifetime
2. Volunteer in youth development / adventure learning related activities for a min committment of 3 months that will touch at least 10 lives
3. Volunteer in service-learning projects for a min commitment of 3 months that will at least touch at least 10 lives
4. Train to be an outdoor adventure instructor/ adventure camp facilitator, and get involved in at least 3 camps and touching at least 30 lives
5. Go backpacking and trekking for at least a month in Tibet. New Zealand.


My area of interest :

1. Trekking
2. Outdoor Education
3. Service-Learning
4. Nature Conservation
5. Physical Conditioning
6. Heath and Wellness

But I know the main reason why I want to do all this in the past is for myself . Self-centred.

How can I NOW use all my knowledge and experience in the different areas to serve and honor God???

The current situation is that

1. Profession : I am training to be a primary school physical education teacher. ( Starting yr 3 of the 4 yr course in July 05)

It is most likely that 50 % of curriculum time I would be teaching PE ; the other 50 % of curriculum time is teaching English/ Social Studies / Mathematics/ Science.


2. Vice-chairman of NIE Service Learning Club

Currently in the midst of planning for goals and action plan for 05-06


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I must admit that in the past, I never really give it a serious thought on how I am going to honour God with my life ; on how I am going to live out God's plan in my life. I never really have a personal vision for God ; I was simply just going with the flow....

That probably explain why I am not growing in my walk with my God. No clear articulated.measurable goals to challenge me. to keep me focus on what is important....

Unitl I was challenged recently through a series of events including a sermon, my shepherd and God speaking to me when I pray.


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I know that Jesus gave us the 2 greatest commandment : "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it : Love your neighbour as yourself "( Matthew 22 :37-39)

And that the Great Commission, which is also my church's vision : "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." ( Matthew 28:19-20)

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How then should I live out this vision? What do I want to do for God based on my current situation???


After much praying, I decided that these are my specific goals to serve and honour God for my remaining 2 yrs in NIE.


1. To get a min of Bs for all my NIE modules so that I can be an effective PE teacher when I go out to teach ( even during my practiculum)

-via learning and equiping myself with the necessary knowledge, skills and attitude
-via taking a proactive approach and that I will be humble to ask my lecturers and classmates for help to improve in my weaknesses.

2. To build and develop deep relationships with all the brothers in my care grp

3. To outreach and share Christ to a min of 5 prebelievers and to lead 3 to accept Christ by July 2007

via impact teams
via my own life testimony
via obedience to God's commandment and teachings by spiritual leaders

4. To be trained and ready to be a shepherd to one new-believer by the end of 2005


These goals will indeed be a challenge to me, but I will commit my plans to God and do my utmost in achieving them. To at least try..

Ophir Trip 2005

I went with the 29th Tahanners and 30th trainees, togther with Emily ( 23rd) , Weiqin ( 24th) , Yuankang(26th) , Zhiqiang ( 27th), Mr Alex Tan and Mr Soh, to Ophir from the 29th April-1st May.

The rest of the photos can be found @ here

I had several aims for this mini 2D2N trip, but I had failed to achieve most of it.

One of my main aim is to get to know the 29th and 30th tahanners better. Apparently, I did not make the effort to approach and talk to them. Once again, I was not others-centred and not proactive enough. Perhaps the only service I render to them was the many photos and videos that I have taken of them and posted at my imagestation.

It really takes effort to know a person and try to understand the person....I ought to ask them more questions.....; it takes even more effort to love a person....

My other aims was to know the Alumni members better too. Although I had much more interactions with them, but I guess the conversations were still surface-level, and had not proceeded to the open stage.

Perhaps a pleasant surprise was that Mr Alex Tan ( a PE teacher) went along as the teacher in charge. Did struck some conversation with him about PE and triathions. Learnt that he was in charge of some Overseas Outdoor Leadership Programme in Hwa Chong.

On hindsight, I should have talked more to him to find out more and learn from him about PE related stuff and the Outdoor Education programs. Shall attempt to keep in touch with him.

Overall, I must admit that I was still more inward-looking than outward looking. Perhaps during the climb, I was kinda of 'struggling' with the load ( ~15kg to campsite ; ~9kg to summit). I treated this trip as part of my training for my adventure race next Sun ( 15th May).

I never seem to learn the lesson of carrying less...., Thank God the cramps that I experienced was only temporary , unlike the ones that I experienced in Tahan 03, that caused my team to abandon the Tahan trek after the first day, and having to spent 5 days stonning at 2 different campsites. Morale of the story : Train for the trek; else carry the minimum.

I was experimenting with cooking a healthy dinner, thus I choose to cook cabbage+ tomatoes+ onion+ garlic soup for dinner.( all using fresh ingredients) Although the soup taste was nice, but I still had the craving for more saltish stuff. Guess now I know why instant noodles+ seasoning + can food are still a popular choice for campers, though it is more unhealthy...

Shall try other stuff to cook next time.