Year 2005 - In retrospect

2005 was a memorable year for me..a time of joy..a time of loss of loved ones too

Jan-Mar - What does it take to love a person? It was also the time when I felt far away from God
Apr - Joined Event Safety Ministry
June - Restructuring and Church camp
July - Aug - Actrinsic 2005
July - Sept - Organising committee of NIE Biathlon 05..Preparations
Dec - My grandfather passed away . A promised made.

To be continued.....

Lamborghini

Black. Cool

Some furniture for my Room from IKEA

@ IKEA > looking around for ideas to design my room....

Making decisions. Planning

Its the holidays now....now I find myself equally busy

A couple of things to make decisions on

1. CPF Investments

- What funds?
- Which company ( AIA, Prudential ?)
- How much to invest?

2. Medical coverage

- Which plan?
- How much to protect?

3. Holiday plans

- What exactly to do?
- Goals for the dec holidays?
- Budget?

Prayer for today

Give me strength, O LORD, for I find myself in trying times to overcome temptations.

Please give me wisdom to see that it is by your grace that have saved me and given me a renewed life.

Please give me courage to stand up for what is right, pure, and holy.

Please give me vision to see the things you want to use me to do for your glory.

Please keep my hope passionately alive as I wait for your work in me to be accomplished.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Adapted from heartlight

Jamie's wedding at Holiday Inn Park View

The former members of NIE Ministry were invited to Jamie's wedding.....



The brothers with the bride...



The sisters with the bride...

My bday celebrations

Sulaiman , Jiamin, Zaid and Jessie bought me a chocolate cake when we were all studying at NIE Canteen in the afternoon for our exams... Thanks for the cake


My Care Group celebrated my birthday at S2 rooftop at night ...amidst their own preparation for exams.



My 3rd cake for the day...@ home....

My Outdoor Experiences

1. Trekking (Mountains and Waterfalls)

>Malaysia -

>>Mount Ophir

-Mar 99' (as a participant )

-Mar 00' (as an instructor)

-Apr 05' (as an alumni member following a JC group)

>> Gunung Tahan

-Jun 99' (as a team member)

- *Kuala Tahan Jun 03 - The only trek I peng on the first day and did not reach reach summit

>> Kota Tinggi Aug 03' (as a participant)

>>Bekelah Jun 04' (self organised)

>Nepal

>> Annapurna Santuary Trek Dec 00' (self organised with engagement of local trekking agency: Galaxy Trekking Agency)

> India

>>Dzongri Trek (Sikkim)

-Dec 03' (participant, as part of YEP project)

-Dec 04' (self-organised, engaing local trekking agency : Mountain Rangers)

>>Gochela Trek (Sikkim)

- Dec 03' ( self-organised, engaging local trekking agency: Mountain Rangers)

*For travelogues and photographs , go to http://www.virtualtourist.com/m/565cf/* Alternatively, please go to http://www.imagestation.com/member/index.html?name=enzymed&c=2012.

2. Sea sports

- Kayaking @ OBS (Lumut/Straits of Malacca) 98'

- Kayaking @ OBS (Sinapore/Tekong/Cony Islands) 99'-

- Whitewater rafting @ Trisuli River/ Grade 3(Nepal) 00'3.

3. Courses and Certifications

- Rockclimbing and Abseiling (Wilderness Associate) 99'

- Windsurfing (Level 1) 99'

- Heartsavers aka CPR 00'

- Sports Climbing Level 1 (SMF) 03'

- Standard First Aid Course ( Red Cross Society ) 05'

4. Outward Bound School

- 6D Lumut/West M'sia 98'- 9D Singapore 99'

5. Adventure racing

- Wilderness Adventure Race May 05'

6. Others

- Pualu Ubin..

Designing websites

The product of my holidays effort in designing websites

This are the tentative designs that I have come up with

1. For my NIE Service Learning Club
2. For my NIE Biathlon 05

Still improving on the contents

I am still learning how to use dreamweaver/ fireworks in a more efficient manner, and to add in more advance features.

But I still want to present a clean, simple image.

My mentor and friend..Zhiyong

This is my spiritual mentor and dear friend- Zhiyong.

[ Picture taken during his birthday celebration @ Youth Park]

As I reflect on the testimony that I shared of him during the celebrations, it kind of dawned on me that there were times that I had taken him for granted...and NOT truely appreciating and thanking him for how he had loved me, invested his time and effort in mentoring me to be a better person, a more loving Christian.

Thank you for your presence and listening ear when i was feeling really down, when I felt so far away from God.

Thank you for being so forgiving and patient with me as you teach me, for I realised my pride and unwillingness has hindered me from personal growth...when i used to say "I know what you are going to tell me....; I know that already "

Thank you for showing me what God's love is , from your daily speech and action.

I am truely blessed to have a loving brother and friend like you.

Motive Vs Reason

"To love someone is not a motive.. it is a reason

when u love someone, u will naturally help her..

Motive is to hope u will get something back in return.." - Alan


I was reminded of this simple truth today : that true love is giving.....without expectation of anything.

ACTStrinsic 2005 - Gen ACTS Idol

Gen-acts idol @ NTU Alumni Club

For all 360 pictures of ACTStrinic 05, click here

ACTStrinsic 2005 - Who wants to be an entrepreneur?

Intitial Inc

ACTStrinsic 2005 - Who wants to be an entrepreneur?

Rasing funds for Community Chest @ Jurong East Central

ACTStrinsic 2005 - The Apprentice Camp

Initial 3 - My grp..

ACTStrinsic 2005/ Day 2 of The Apprentice Camp - telematches @ Beach, Changi Sailing Club .

Hope Church Camp 2005

Hope Church Camp 2005


My new care grp

For more photos, check out the my photo album @ here

Encouraged by the lifes of passionate people who walk the talk

Encouraged by the lifes of passionate people who walk the talk

My first time experience as a camp instructor for sec3

My confidence broken. Lack of command and control.

This sounded negative, but I guess it summed up how I was feeling and performed as a 'camp intructor' for a 3D2N sec3 'leadership' camp @ Sentosa ( 25th-27th May)

Originally, I thought this was a leadership camp, the students were leaders in their own way, and my role there is more of a facilitator, helping them in their learning process. I was half right - half wrong.

Reality : My group required more command and control; discipline need to be enforced; they lack initiative in doing things.

What I expected of them : Some ppl in the group to take the initiative and lead the group into doing things ( For example : deciding on a group name; group cheer ; group indentity, using a piece of cloth )

What they expected of me : To decide for them everything ; I was their 'leader' ; I give them instructions and directions ; I initiate the cheer ; I get them excited and fired up. I decide on what they are going to perfom for the talent nite.


It was during the camp that I realised that there is a mismatch of expectations. This wasnt the camp that I envisioned to be, thus I was not mentally prepared for the camp. My role there is more like 'an orientation grp leader' , the kind that will psych the grp members up, get them excited, conduct games and activites for them, debrief them ( if they are interested to listen in the first place) , make sure they cross the road safely, collect food for them....., do a head count whenever we gather for the next activities....

In some way, I kinda of disappointed my group, because I was not a 'strong and decisive' leader in their eyes, someone who can exert a certain amt of control over them and that they are willing to obey. ( This wasnt what I wanted anyway; I never wanted to treat them like my army men)

Nevertheless, this camp taught me several lessons; it exposed my weakness, areas that I need to improve if I were to become a better teacher/instructor

1. Building rapport

This is one area that I need to improve on.... Although I managed to build some rapport with some of my group members, but it wasnt enough.

I ought to initiate more 'small talk' with them, ask them more questions.....

Without this rapport established , its very difficult to get them to do things for me when I ask them to...

2. Command and Control

This is the situation : My group obeyed my instructions in the 'Do nots' ; but they will be lacklustre in the 'Dos'

For example :

a. Whenever I try to gather the group, there will always be some 'lost sheep' wandering around
b. When I ask them to sit/stand in 2 'rows', there will always be some standing in 3s or alone
c. When conducting activites for them, there will always be someone interested in playing, watching by the side.

My mistake was that I did not address the issue ; make a stand when the situation arose. I chose to ignore it. I did not enforce the basic discipline.

This revealed my non-confrontational nature. I mustt change else I will not be able to establish command and control in classroom/PE settings....


"How the group behaves/respond is a reflection of your ability to command and control ; lead them" --- This is very true, hence I need to improve on this aspect

3. Show more energy, life !

If my group is feeling very low morale; low energy, then it is a reflection of me having low morale and energy.......quite true to a certain extent....

There were times that I did feel a bit disappointed with myself and with the group...why I cannot motivate..psych the group up as compare to the other camp instructors....But I am learning from them.....

4. Appoint leaders ; Delegating responsibilites...

This is something that I did not really do. I only ask the group to decide on certain things , but did not appoint leaders to decide for the group.

I should have appointed leaders / ICs to

- report strength to me
- make certain decisions for the group ( etc decide on group name...talent-nite item)
- lead cheers
- go and find the 'lost sheeps' back


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This camp really taught me a lot of things, areas to improve on.....

I guess my methods/style needs further finetuned and must be modified to suit the maturity level of the group.

Shall think/find out more of more games and activites for younger children/teenagers.....

My struggles

My struggles....

1. To let go of the past and move on

Sometimes, I am still reminded of my past, the mistakes that I have made. I have confessed to GOD and am forgiven, but I know I have to live with the consequences of my actions.

2. To love people

Although this is amongst Jesus's greatest commandment, I am still struggling to do it.I know 'LOVE'is an action verb...it is not a mere head knowledge.

3. Outreaching to people

Maybe this is because I am still inward looking... Am I willing to avail myself to be used by God during this matrix season to connect and outreach to people?


I pray that I will put my trust in God, and to have the faith that he will provide for my needs, so that I can be committed to outreaching during this matrix season ; that I will not worry about finding a suitable income.

Wilderness Adventure Race

Adventure race at Pulau Ubin attracts 48 teams
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Channel NewsAsia, 15 May 05
full report: http://www.wildsingapore.com/news/20050506/050515-3.htm

The Wilderness Adventure Race 2005 has attracted 48 teams, more than
organisers had planned for.

The action started at the Pasir Ris Community Club with an early flag-
off. After a short run to the beach, participants had to get into
kayaks and paddle 3 kilometres to Pulau Ubin, where most of the hard
work began.

On the island, the obstacles included running through forests, and
the more familiar rock climbing, even ascending a 15-metre tower with
ropes in a move called "jummaring". But the highlight of the race was
plunging into the water from the peak of a six-storey high quarry.
While the view was breathtaking, the participants had no time to
enjoy it, as they had to kayak back to the mainland, before cycling
to the finish line back at the Pasir Ris CC.

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Yup, that was my first adventure race, partnering Hongwei( my classmate)

A bit disappointed because we did not have the change to 'abseil and plunge into the quarry. We were waiting 2 hrs for our turn....but due to time constraints, the last 12 teams were not able to go through the highlight of the race, and had to proceed to the next checkpoint.

Shall give a more detailed account in the near future....

I risk...

I risk asking and getting rejected but I will know the person’s response if I do

I risk failure but I can only succeed if I do it

I risk failure when trying out new things but I will learn something if I do

I risk being laughed at because of my incompetence when I try something, but I will only know how competent I am when I do it.

I risk being condemned when I confess my wrongdoings, but I will be forgiven if I do

I fear letting go but I will move on if I do

“Do or do not, There is not try”- Yoda

I used to fear many things in my life, I still do now. But each time I think back and reflect, I am thankful that at least I made the attempt to do it. Sometimes I did succeed in overcoming my fear; sometimes I still fear and did not attempt and will regret as a result.

Fears I have overcome:

Not knowing my purpose of life.

I used to wonder/grasp for what is my true meaning in life. I wanted a clear direction, purpose, and a reason to live for.

There will always be uncertainties in my life, but I am confident to say I know my purpose and direction in life now

Sharing my fears and weakness to my friends/anyone

I used to be afraid of being looked down upon by my friends, but now as I reflect back, I realized this is such a self-limiting thought

If they don’t know, how then can they help me grow?

Admitting that I am wrong and apologizing

I used to fear saying sorry to other people even if I know that I am in the wrong.

I used to think that doing so is a sign of weakness.

Then I learnt it is an act of humility.

Asking for help in different areas of my life

My personal pride was the major hindrance to that.

I used to think I can handle everything and would fear of letting people know of my incompetence, but then I realize that this is hindering my personal growth. I need to admit that I need help from others and to ask people for help

Once again, this is an act of humility

I used to fear that people will criticize my views of things

Then I realized that I cannot grow if I do not know the loophole/blind spot of my own argument

Expressing my feelings/love to people

I used to fear facing rejection from people

Then I realized I will never know how they will response until I first love them.

These fears will always be present in my life and I admit it will always be a struggle to overcome them, even though I have overcome them before, because every experience/situation is unique/dynamic.

Fears I have yet to overcome :

Expressing love to my own family member

Sharing the gospel to complete strangers

Are my goals.dreams aligned to God's plan for me?

There are many things that I want to do/achieve in my life. But the question always remain : Is it aligned to Gods plan for me?

Dreams.Things I want to do:

1. Take part in a international 3 month international Raleigh Expedition in my lifetime
2. Volunteer in youth development / adventure learning related activities for a min committment of 3 months that will touch at least 10 lives
3. Volunteer in service-learning projects for a min commitment of 3 months that will at least touch at least 10 lives
4. Train to be an outdoor adventure instructor/ adventure camp facilitator, and get involved in at least 3 camps and touching at least 30 lives
5. Go backpacking and trekking for at least a month in Tibet. New Zealand.


My area of interest :

1. Trekking
2. Outdoor Education
3. Service-Learning
4. Nature Conservation
5. Physical Conditioning
6. Heath and Wellness

But I know the main reason why I want to do all this in the past is for myself . Self-centred.

How can I NOW use all my knowledge and experience in the different areas to serve and honor God???

The current situation is that

1. Profession : I am training to be a primary school physical education teacher. ( Starting yr 3 of the 4 yr course in July 05)

It is most likely that 50 % of curriculum time I would be teaching PE ; the other 50 % of curriculum time is teaching English/ Social Studies / Mathematics/ Science.


2. Vice-chairman of NIE Service Learning Club

Currently in the midst of planning for goals and action plan for 05-06


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I must admit that in the past, I never really give it a serious thought on how I am going to honour God with my life ; on how I am going to live out God's plan in my life. I never really have a personal vision for God ; I was simply just going with the flow....

That probably explain why I am not growing in my walk with my God. No clear articulated.measurable goals to challenge me. to keep me focus on what is important....

Unitl I was challenged recently through a series of events including a sermon, my shepherd and God speaking to me when I pray.


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I know that Jesus gave us the 2 greatest commandment : "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it : Love your neighbour as yourself "( Matthew 22 :37-39)

And that the Great Commission, which is also my church's vision : "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." ( Matthew 28:19-20)

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How then should I live out this vision? What do I want to do for God based on my current situation???


After much praying, I decided that these are my specific goals to serve and honour God for my remaining 2 yrs in NIE.


1. To get a min of Bs for all my NIE modules so that I can be an effective PE teacher when I go out to teach ( even during my practiculum)

-via learning and equiping myself with the necessary knowledge, skills and attitude
-via taking a proactive approach and that I will be humble to ask my lecturers and classmates for help to improve in my weaknesses.

2. To build and develop deep relationships with all the brothers in my care grp

3. To outreach and share Christ to a min of 5 prebelievers and to lead 3 to accept Christ by July 2007

via impact teams
via my own life testimony
via obedience to God's commandment and teachings by spiritual leaders

4. To be trained and ready to be a shepherd to one new-believer by the end of 2005


These goals will indeed be a challenge to me, but I will commit my plans to God and do my utmost in achieving them. To at least try..

Ophir Trip 2005

I went with the 29th Tahanners and 30th trainees, togther with Emily ( 23rd) , Weiqin ( 24th) , Yuankang(26th) , Zhiqiang ( 27th), Mr Alex Tan and Mr Soh, to Ophir from the 29th April-1st May.

The rest of the photos can be found @ here

I had several aims for this mini 2D2N trip, but I had failed to achieve most of it.

One of my main aim is to get to know the 29th and 30th tahanners better. Apparently, I did not make the effort to approach and talk to them. Once again, I was not others-centred and not proactive enough. Perhaps the only service I render to them was the many photos and videos that I have taken of them and posted at my imagestation.

It really takes effort to know a person and try to understand the person....I ought to ask them more questions.....; it takes even more effort to love a person....

My other aims was to know the Alumni members better too. Although I had much more interactions with them, but I guess the conversations were still surface-level, and had not proceeded to the open stage.

Perhaps a pleasant surprise was that Mr Alex Tan ( a PE teacher) went along as the teacher in charge. Did struck some conversation with him about PE and triathions. Learnt that he was in charge of some Overseas Outdoor Leadership Programme in Hwa Chong.

On hindsight, I should have talked more to him to find out more and learn from him about PE related stuff and the Outdoor Education programs. Shall attempt to keep in touch with him.

Overall, I must admit that I was still more inward-looking than outward looking. Perhaps during the climb, I was kinda of 'struggling' with the load ( ~15kg to campsite ; ~9kg to summit). I treated this trip as part of my training for my adventure race next Sun ( 15th May).

I never seem to learn the lesson of carrying less...., Thank God the cramps that I experienced was only temporary , unlike the ones that I experienced in Tahan 03, that caused my team to abandon the Tahan trek after the first day, and having to spent 5 days stonning at 2 different campsites. Morale of the story : Train for the trek; else carry the minimum.

I was experimenting with cooking a healthy dinner, thus I choose to cook cabbage+ tomatoes+ onion+ garlic soup for dinner.( all using fresh ingredients) Although the soup taste was nice, but I still had the craving for more saltish stuff. Guess now I know why instant noodles+ seasoning + can food are still a popular choice for campers, though it is more unhealthy...

Shall try other stuff to cook next time.

May-July 05 Term Break Plans

Ed @ Home in the midst of preparing for sports psychology paper.....

This is a rough outline of my holiday plans

1. [ Ministry ]

~Post Exam Celebration (5th May)
~Church Camp @ Hotel Eden , JB) ( 9th-12th June)
~Gen-Acts Matric Camp @ Aloha Resort, Changi ( 3rd July - 5th July)
Done> Start my care grp blog
X Mission trip to E.Malaysia?( Late May) [ Postponed to later date]

2. [ Learn ]

~Driving !!! ( First step is to register and sit for my basic theory test)
~Guitar ( I always wanted to learn it...now that my shepherd can teach me..)
~Photography ( Else my Canon S1 would be yet another white elephant)
~Cooking ???

3. [ Trek ]

Done > Mount Ophir with the 29th/30th Tahanners( 29th April - 2 May)
X Gunung Tahan ( 30th May- 8 June) --- Still not confirmed [ Crash with Church Camp ]

4. [ Service-Learning Club ]

~Meetings ( to decide on strategies and direction for the next work year)

5. [ Teach ]

~School experience ( 5th-8th July)

6. [ Play ]

~Tennis @ NIE
~Trail running

7. [ Web-Design ]

~Revamp my web-portal
~Revamp this blog

8. [ Work ]

~Biomechanic Research Assistant @ Singapore Sports School
~Outdoor Camp Facilitator ?????
~Tuition ?????

9. [ Travel ]

X Bangkok ( to meet up with my classmtes returning from their Europe trip...???) ( 29th June-2 July)

10. [ Personal ]

~Decide on my personal goals for the next half of the year
~Update my outdoor inventory and take pictures of it
~Update my books inventory
~Update my general inventory
~Clear the content of my 3 email accounts



Shall evaluate 3 months from now , how successful I am in achieving all this......

Choice. Action.Consequences

While in the midst of preparing for my exams, as I prayed...I was reminded of this simple truth in life...

"whatever choice you make, consider beyond the immediate effect, but rather the long term consequences..."

d(choice)/d( time) = action

d(action)/d(time) = consequence

I must admit, sometimes I make choices for my own self interest and benefit...but as I think deeper, then I realised the decision is not parallel to my purpose in life, thus the internal conflict in my head.

I remember what my shepherd said to me...

"Whatever decision you make, always check your heart, ask yourself.."Does it honour God? "

..Is it done out of love for people, love for God, or it is to please my own sinful desire, for my own comfort and pleasure?

Is it in accordance to the values and principles laid down in the bible?

A Sat Trek @ Southern Parks

Squirrel @ Labordor Park


Went for a noon-afternoon trek to Labordor Park, Mount Faber and Telok Blangah Hill, with Weiqin to meet the 29th/30th Tahanners. I am going with them to Ophir on the 29th April-1st May

Check out the rest of my photos @ my Image Station album

Am I living out my full potential?

Today, my classmates ( Hongwei, Melvin, Jachin, Cheryl and Ker Shin) and I had dim sum buffet lunch with Dr Michael Kok ( my biomechanics lecteurer) @ Tung Lok Seafood Gallery, East Coast Recreation Centre.

Among the many things that Dr Mike talked about, the one that impacted me was his mini life journey, on the part about fulfilling his full potential.

"I wanted to challenge myself to see if I am capable of getting a Phd...now that I have done it..I have no doubts about my own abilities....but now I am challenging myself to see if I can be a good father to my 4 children and a good husband to my wife, and also a good teacher trainer"

This words stuck a chord in my heart. I have been praying this few days and what I sense from God is that

I AM NOT FULFILLING MY TRUE/ FULL POTENTIAL......

Is it in the area of my studies?

Is it in the area of my walk with God.....am I truely serving in my ministry. Can I do more than that? Can I serve more? Can I love people more ?

I just have this feeling that I can achieve more...but my laziness/ inertia/ procrastination is hindering me. I just do not like the idea of not giving my best.........

Am I undergoing testing and trials now?

I will try...asking for feedback to improve .......will you encourage me?

I pray that I can always focus on my purpose in life, may my love for GOd and his people may the true motivating force that substain me through it all.

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Another issue that Dr Mike was talking about is ETHICS.

Ethics in NIE, amongst the lecteurers.

One wonders what is their true aim in conducting research, publishing papers ( so as to earn more money or in the true spirit of seeking knowledge ?)

( Forgotten what's the link but...)

"Guard your heart, for no one can control that except yourself....."

When he mentioned that, I was reminded of the teachings that I received yesterday.......resisting temptations, undergoing testings.....

Shall remember these wise words .........it really speaks to me.......


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Other issues to take note/ be aware of ........

1. PE teachers ought to be proficient in different skills so that they can demonstrate in class .....recalling back........

"show me what you can do...not what you cannot do"

Some skills are generic across the same type of games, for example invasion games

"why can't the trainee teacher demonstrate the skill instead of merely 'talking about it' ; because he lacks the skill......."

Application point : I must make the effort to improve on my own skill proficiency level in most sports.....

Temptations, Testing and Trials

How God deals with his people

- A reflection of the teaching by Alan Tee ( my district leader) @ NTU TR122

Man will face temptations , tests and trials in his life , but how does one deals with it?
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The key takeaway points :

1. To be a good Christian, overcome temptations

2. To be a better Christian, pass tests

3. To the best Christian, go through trials successfully

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A. Temptations- Do not love the world


Temptations appeal to your sinful nature............

15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. ( 1 John 2 :15-17)

A1 : Appetite ie cravings

A2 : Covetousness ie wanting what others what

A3 : Pride ie boasting of one has or does

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Ed : Upon reflection , I realised that I am very guilty and had succumbed to all 3 types of temptations in recent months. I have failed to watch my heart, to guard myself...

God, I pray for your forgiveness, did I do not want to and will not, live in my past regrets and wrongdoings, that I will be be forward looking and live NOW, drawing strength from you, that I will guard myself against temptations, and to exercise self control, that I will always check my motives for doing what I am doing.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful : he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it ( 1 Corinthian 10 :13 )

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B. Tests

10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. 14 If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames. (1 Corinthian 3 : 10-15 )

Tests appeal to and reveal your Christian convictions....

B1 : God allow it to happen

B2: Man tests man..ie testing by spiritual authority

B3 : Man test himself .. ie self test

..."Sometimes you dont really know why you are doing something until a test comes along and it reveals your heart's true desire .... "

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C. Trials

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance.4 Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ( James 1:2-4)

Blessed is the man who perserveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him ( James 1:12)

Trials appeals to the HIGHER GOOD in you..

Trials are very unsettling....

"Trials does not answer why? when? what? "

- one may never understand why one is undergoing trials at that moment in time, maybe when it is over, as one reflects, one is able to see that everything links and happens for a reason

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

But maybe the trial will last til the very end, til one dies, but rest assured God is faithful, he will answer you why you have to endure this trial when you meet him face to face.

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Ed : What are the temptations.testing.trials that I am facing in my life right NOW?

1.Temptations that I am facing

- My appetite ( I am always hungry...literally...)
- My desire to go mountain trekking
- My desire to go travelling ( Tibet, Mongolia, New Zealand)
- My desire for intimacy???? ( As feedbacked by my shepherd)

2. Testings that I am under going/ have undergone recently

- Do I read the bible consistently, daily?
- Do I spent quiet time with God, pray to God regularly?
- Do I guard my own heart?
- Do I trust God to provide for my needs ?
- Do I trust God in my decision to let go of the relationship and move on?
- DO I trust God in all circumstances?
- Do I go out of my comfort zone, to love the people around me , to be geniuinely interested in their lives?

3. Trials that I am enduring ( are these really trials?)

- Forgiving myself and letting go of my past wrongdoings/sins Vs moving on
- Letting go of a relationship and moving on???
- Overcoming my pride?????
- Fulfilling my full potential in academics ???

⁴In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, ⁶because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son ⁷Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? ⁸If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.

That's my name....E.d.m.u.n.d :)

My grandpa's 90th birthday celebration

My grandpa's 90th Birthday celebration @ Food Haven, The Restaurant

Anyone interested to go paddle @ Mac Ritchie Reservoir ?
How does it feel like to be surrounded by lush greenery...a sense of serenity....

Types of boats/rental available at Paddle Lodge @ Mac Ritchie Reservoir

Areas to paddle @ Mac Ritchie Reservoir

View of Mac Ritchie on a Sat morning

[ Mac Ritchie Reservoir on a Sat morning ]

With the opening of Paddle Lodge..the public can now canoe at the reservoir.

I went to Mac Ritchie for a 4.8km run with Weiqin today. It was a mini breakthrough because I have been 'thinking about doing it for a very long time'

Of personal gifts and travel artifacts

My collection of gifts from my friends and my own travel artifacts.....but missing 'Sarah..my penguin'

Am I speaking your love language ?

The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com

A very interesting and insightful book . not that it is something that we do not know, but the idea and message expressed in a clear, concise and speaks right to my heart.:-)

The main idea is that different people give and interpret love received in 5 different ways.

The way that you are showing your love to a person may not be interpreted as love received by the other person

ie the person on the receiving end (Y) is wondering why X is not showing/expressing love to him/her; and the person giving the love ( X)may be wondering why Y is not feeling loved by him/her.

Essentially, X and Y are communicating with a different love language...:(

All forms of expressions of love can be summarised in the following 5

1. Giving words of affirmation

ie Thank you for ........ ; I appreciate you for who you are....

2. Acts of services

ie Cooking for her...helping her do .....

3. Spending quality time

ie Simply eating together once a week.... ; simply being there for her .....

4. Giving gifts

ie Giving her gifts apart from the normal ocassions

5. Physical touch

ie common sense..need not elaborate...

If you are facing obstacles in your relationship with people, perhaps you would want to evaluate the love language that you are expressing to the person. Is the other person receiving it with right attitude?

Does the person feel most loved when you speak that love language?

Conversely, if you are on the receiving end, do you feel loved by the other person's acts of love?Or is he/she speaking another love language?

Personally, for me, this concept has changed a lot of my views about love , and how i express my love to people.

Perhaps I have learnt this too late to change what had happened in the past, and lest I am resolved to change now. I am now more aware of other people love languages.

This is not so say that one only focus on expressing one type of love language to that specific person ; all 5 should be used ; but there are times that the person's primary love language should be used, becasue that is when the person feels most loved by you.

Hope that by sharing this article and my own insights with you, you will perhaps relook at your own personal relationships with people and ask : Am I speak the person'slove language.

In the spirit of love........

Ed

Letting go and moving on

Dear substrate,

Thank you for the times spent together. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to love you. Thank you for loving me.

Perhaps you are not the right person for me ; perhaps I am not the right person for you ; perhaps this is not the right timing.

But, the end of the day, I just hope that you too, will grow in your walk with God.

As for me, I put my trust in God, that he will provide for my needs.

And my focus now is on building up my character, to be more Christ-like, so that I can 'be the right person' and not merely 'searching for the right person '

I dare not say that I am not disappointed, that I am not sad. But if letting go means allowing you to grow and move forward, then I am gladly doing so......

And I will move forward too. I am refousing on my pupose in life again, and may i not lose that vision

May we still remain as friends, may we still treasure the memories and cherish the times spent.

Am i willing to express my feelings?

Stil deciding what I should use this blog for?

I have already gotten a homepage @ http://users.boardnation.com/~enzymed/index.php , something that I have been using since 2003...but felt that response is not that good there.....I learnt that people are more interested in how i feel , rather than me giving them hard facts and information.

Hence the focus of this blog is to express my feelings... expressing my true feelings...something that I am still learning to do.......... yes.....to open up.

I have learnt a major life lesson recently......that is to express my feelings, to simply ASK, and not to ASSUME things.........this lesson I will always remember.............Perhaps I will elaborate more on this in future posts...

By opening up, I am revealing my weakness, my fears, my insecurities, my disappointments...but perhaps thats LIFE. I have always been holding on to a wrong belief that I shall only share my happiness, not my sorrows.....but that have resulted in me not been able to deepen my relationship with people around me.....simply because i am holding back on my emotions and feelings, refusing to face the issue and clarify it, always assuming things and this had led to misunterstandings and a self-errected invisible wall between people.

Now, I am trying to break down the wall that I have been building all my life, and revealing the true me.

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"People dont care how much you know, until they know how much you care"

My focus now is on building, deepening and maintaining relationship with people around me.

Open communication based on trust and honesty are values that I hold true to my heart, and that any harsh words said by me is done so in the spirit of love, to build the person up, not to put him down; ..... to encourage him.

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At the end of the day....I just wanna to say...I put my trust in God