Am I speaking your love language ?

The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com

A very interesting and insightful book . not that it is something that we do not know, but the idea and message expressed in a clear, concise and speaks right to my heart.:-)

The main idea is that different people give and interpret love received in 5 different ways.

The way that you are showing your love to a person may not be interpreted as love received by the other person

ie the person on the receiving end (Y) is wondering why X is not showing/expressing love to him/her; and the person giving the love ( X)may be wondering why Y is not feeling loved by him/her.

Essentially, X and Y are communicating with a different love language...:(

All forms of expressions of love can be summarised in the following 5

1. Giving words of affirmation

ie Thank you for ........ ; I appreciate you for who you are....

2. Acts of services

ie Cooking for her...helping her do .....

3. Spending quality time

ie Simply eating together once a week.... ; simply being there for her .....

4. Giving gifts

ie Giving her gifts apart from the normal ocassions

5. Physical touch

ie common sense..need not elaborate...

If you are facing obstacles in your relationship with people, perhaps you would want to evaluate the love language that you are expressing to the person. Is the other person receiving it with right attitude?

Does the person feel most loved when you speak that love language?

Conversely, if you are on the receiving end, do you feel loved by the other person's acts of love?Or is he/she speaking another love language?

Personally, for me, this concept has changed a lot of my views about love , and how i express my love to people.

Perhaps I have learnt this too late to change what had happened in the past, and lest I am resolved to change now. I am now more aware of other people love languages.

This is not so say that one only focus on expressing one type of love language to that specific person ; all 5 should be used ; but there are times that the person's primary love language should be used, becasue that is when the person feels most loved by you.

Hope that by sharing this article and my own insights with you, you will perhaps relook at your own personal relationships with people and ask : Am I speak the person'slove language.

In the spirit of love........

Ed