Am I speaking your love language ?

The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com

A very interesting and insightful book . not that it is something that we do not know, but the idea and message expressed in a clear, concise and speaks right to my heart.:-)

The main idea is that different people give and interpret love received in 5 different ways.

The way that you are showing your love to a person may not be interpreted as love received by the other person

ie the person on the receiving end (Y) is wondering why X is not showing/expressing love to him/her; and the person giving the love ( X)may be wondering why Y is not feeling loved by him/her.

Essentially, X and Y are communicating with a different love language...:(

All forms of expressions of love can be summarised in the following 5

1. Giving words of affirmation

ie Thank you for ........ ; I appreciate you for who you are....

2. Acts of services

ie Cooking for her...helping her do .....

3. Spending quality time

ie Simply eating together once a week.... ; simply being there for her .....

4. Giving gifts

ie Giving her gifts apart from the normal ocassions

5. Physical touch

ie common sense..need not elaborate...

If you are facing obstacles in your relationship with people, perhaps you would want to evaluate the love language that you are expressing to the person. Is the other person receiving it with right attitude?

Does the person feel most loved when you speak that love language?

Conversely, if you are on the receiving end, do you feel loved by the other person's acts of love?Or is he/she speaking another love language?

Personally, for me, this concept has changed a lot of my views about love , and how i express my love to people.

Perhaps I have learnt this too late to change what had happened in the past, and lest I am resolved to change now. I am now more aware of other people love languages.

This is not so say that one only focus on expressing one type of love language to that specific person ; all 5 should be used ; but there are times that the person's primary love language should be used, becasue that is when the person feels most loved by you.

Hope that by sharing this article and my own insights with you, you will perhaps relook at your own personal relationships with people and ask : Am I speak the person'slove language.

In the spirit of love........

Ed

Letting go and moving on

Dear substrate,

Thank you for the times spent together. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to love you. Thank you for loving me.

Perhaps you are not the right person for me ; perhaps I am not the right person for you ; perhaps this is not the right timing.

But, the end of the day, I just hope that you too, will grow in your walk with God.

As for me, I put my trust in God, that he will provide for my needs.

And my focus now is on building up my character, to be more Christ-like, so that I can 'be the right person' and not merely 'searching for the right person '

I dare not say that I am not disappointed, that I am not sad. But if letting go means allowing you to grow and move forward, then I am gladly doing so......

And I will move forward too. I am refousing on my pupose in life again, and may i not lose that vision

May we still remain as friends, may we still treasure the memories and cherish the times spent.

Am i willing to express my feelings?

Stil deciding what I should use this blog for?

I have already gotten a homepage @ http://users.boardnation.com/~enzymed/index.php , something that I have been using since 2003...but felt that response is not that good there.....I learnt that people are more interested in how i feel , rather than me giving them hard facts and information.

Hence the focus of this blog is to express my feelings... expressing my true feelings...something that I am still learning to do.......... yes.....to open up.

I have learnt a major life lesson recently......that is to express my feelings, to simply ASK, and not to ASSUME things.........this lesson I will always remember.............Perhaps I will elaborate more on this in future posts...

By opening up, I am revealing my weakness, my fears, my insecurities, my disappointments...but perhaps thats LIFE. I have always been holding on to a wrong belief that I shall only share my happiness, not my sorrows.....but that have resulted in me not been able to deepen my relationship with people around me.....simply because i am holding back on my emotions and feelings, refusing to face the issue and clarify it, always assuming things and this had led to misunterstandings and a self-errected invisible wall between people.

Now, I am trying to break down the wall that I have been building all my life, and revealing the true me.

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"People dont care how much you know, until they know how much you care"

My focus now is on building, deepening and maintaining relationship with people around me.

Open communication based on trust and honesty are values that I hold true to my heart, and that any harsh words said by me is done so in the spirit of love, to build the person up, not to put him down; ..... to encourage him.

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At the end of the day....I just wanna to say...I put my trust in God